BP's teacher sent a note home saying he had a rough day with major flip-outs and frustration. He would scream and start hitting his leg. Ugh! My first thought was, "man, I hope they don't think we hit our kid!" He occasionally has these bursts when he's home. We've been trying to help him identify his emotions, so sometimes I'll match his voice and yell "I'm mad!"--then slap my leg. Whoops! Guess I shouldn't do that anymore.
And then the other emotions started to creep back in---feeling like a failure as a mother, embarrassment, sadness, despair. All the while I'm experiencing these feelings, my son is happy as can be. He got off the bus in a great mood, playing, sharing with his sister, hugging and kissing me.
I wish I could just say to myself that this is what happens sometimes and that it could be worse. I know I"m doing the best I can. But there are times when I just need a real Calgon break. My husband is going to be away this weekend and I'm already dreading the thought of managing both kids alone. I know I shouldn't waste such time thinking about the worst. I know that my husband has to leave so that we can make money and have help in the future. Momma needs a vacation :)
That being said, I'm setting the intention to have a fun-filled, peaceful weekend with my kids. They are both perfect exactly as they are. (I'll keep telling myself this until it's real).
All is well in my world.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
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