The Winter of My Soul

It has been a very long time since I have blogged. That was on purpose. The winter months in Ohio, without the excitement of the holidays, can be very dark and dreary. This year there were many snow storms that kept us all hidden away in our home together. I must be honest when I say there were times I felt like Jack Nicholson in "The Shining."

On top of the weather, my son seemed to be regressing. For the past few months, he has been having massive fits. His behavioral therapist said it was good, he was "transitioning." I kept waiting for the transitional period to end, but it hasn't quite yet, although it seems to be lessening. And added to it all, my 83 year old father-in-law fell and is now in a nursing home. To say it mildly, it has caused rocky tension in my marriage. I am happy to say now that the arrival of spring seems to be helping us all.

I haven't felt like writing because I didn't want to post anything that could legally be held against me :). I'm kidding, but only slightly. I spent the last few months in isolation from everyone. I have never truly felt utterly alone. (I purposefully stayed away from any friend, with children the same age as my son, who liked to tell bragging stories about their oh-so-smart kid). But I recently spoke with an amazing friend, and fellow mother, who encouraged me to continue writing. But not only that, we were able to share our mothering experiences. And even though she does not have a developmentally delayed child, the frustrations were very similar. I started to feel normal again.

So I say to all mothers: find a trusted confidante with whom you can share in complete trust and honesty! Motherhood itself can at times feel lonely. I remember feeling this way even when my son was very young, before we even knew there was any need for concern. It's wonderful to have a supportive partner who shares the experiences with you, but there is no greater validation than connecting with another mom. Because only another mother truly gets it. Men have their own fears and worries. (I encourage fathers to also find a trusted fellow-father confidante as well). But the bond of a good female friend is simply....well...therapeutic. So thank you, Essie!

And as spring has finally sprung, I am returning to my positive intentions of being fully present, patient and loving with my entire family. I am in complete acceptance of what is truly a wonderful and blessed life. Honestly, I am just grateful that I have finally moved out of my purgatory period. Whew! It was a close one.

New and amazing miracles are on the horizon. I vow to write more frequently.

All is well in my world.