Parenthood-The Movie

I'm watching "Parenthood" right now on Netflix. Boy this movie has a whole new meaning for me now. And I must say, Mary Steenburgen and Steve Martin have not aged one bit in 20 years!!

PDD-NOS

I should clarify: when I say that BP is moderatlly autistic, we believe he would be medically diagnosed with PDD-NOS, which is on the spectrum.

Had a meeting with the school today and they will likely need a medical diagnosis if we still think by next fall that he is on the spectrum. Ugh. Don't know why I resist that.

All is well in my world.

The note from his teacher

BP's teacher sent a note home saying he had a rough day with major flip-outs and frustration. He would scream and start hitting his leg. Ugh! My first thought was, "man, I hope they don't think we hit our kid!" He occasionally has these bursts when he's home. We've been trying to help him identify his emotions, so sometimes I'll match his voice and yell "I'm mad!"--then slap my leg. Whoops! Guess I shouldn't do that anymore.

And then the other emotions started to creep back in---feeling like a failure as a mother, embarrassment, sadness, despair. All the while I'm experiencing these feelings, my son is happy as can be. He got off the bus in a great mood, playing, sharing with his sister, hugging and kissing me.

I wish I could just say to myself that this is what happens sometimes and that it could be worse. I know I"m doing the best I can. But there are times when I just need a real Calgon break. My husband is going to be away this weekend and I'm already dreading the thought of managing both kids alone. I know I shouldn't waste such time thinking about the worst. I know that my husband has to leave so that we can make money and have help in the future. Momma needs a vacation :)

That being said, I'm setting the intention to have a fun-filled, peaceful weekend with my kids. They are both perfect exactly as they are. (I'll keep telling myself this until it's real).

All is well in my world.

Introduction

ABOUT ME

Hello!! And thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I am a 36 year old, mother of two. My son, BP, is 4 1/2 years old and my daughter is 19 months. I love, love, love my children, my husband and my life. Two years ago, we left the open-minded, available alternative possibilities of Los Angeles to return to rural Ohio (for family reasons) and to take a breather from the So Cal madness. Returning has been a worse culture shock than when I moved to LA in the first place. But being here certainly has its advantages.

Yes, I am pretty much a stay-at-home mom, but in my spare time (ha ha ha ha) I also work as a hypnotherapist, life coach, writer, and volunteer YMCA instructor. My husband has started a new company that often takes him out of town--usually just for a night but sometimes longer. There is always so much going on in our lives but I cannot complain about any of it (but sometimes I will). There is always so much more I could be doing that I never fully catch up. And I suppose that's okay. My attitude, my children's' attitudes, is always better when I stop trying to catch up and just be present. I step out of the "shoulds" and just "be"---with all of it.

MY SON

My son has unofficially been diagnosed as moderately autistic--which means that he talks,but only minimally, interacts and is functioning nearly typically. However, he lacks certain communication and social skills. He gets easily frustrated when something in reality does not line up with what he has worked out in his head. It can be frustrating for the whole family at times, unless we can remember to view the world through his eyes.

I am learning through my son in ways I could have never imagined. I am learning about acceptance, patience, releasing attachments and expectations, true unconditional loving...and this does not just relate to him. All of these learnings have applied to myself and everyone else as well (almost).

A NATURAL/HOLISTIC APPROACH

When I say that BP is "unofically" diagnosed on the autism spectrum, it is because we have never taken him to a developmental pediatrician. In the beginning we were afraid of him being labeled. I think mostly we were in denial and just afraid of hearing the truth. And then as we discovered more, we just didn't want to go down the traditional western medicine path. Not that I am against western medicine really. When my father was alive, he was a Family Doctor and practicing Psychiatrist. So I'm not bagging. But there isn't a "cure" right now anyway. So, following my female intuition (and my husbands strong beliefs on the matter), we have chosen natural/holistic approach. We are detoxing his body from heavy metal poisoning, and he is on a gluten-free diet. We also started him in Early Intervention at age 2. Now he attends a wonderful preschool providing additional care. In addition, he regularly sees a cranio-sacral therapist in Columbus and has an amazing autism specialist in Cleveland (a very long 3 hour drive away).

WHY I'M BLOGGING

This blog is my way of sharing my experience with others, supporting my desire to write, not to mention providing a forum to get it out of my head--otherwise there are days when I am nearly on the brink of exploding or sheer madness or both.

My desire is to continue the course on this positive thinking, learning, growth path. I am hoping this blog keeps me on it, while having some fun too.

As Louise Hay would say--all is well in my world.

More to come...